Dating Safety Tips

FOR HIM

Dating safety and sexual assault can be a difficult topic to discuss. Statistics show that 1 in 3 young women and nearly 1 in 2 young men say they do not know the signs of sexual assault. We’ve developed these tips for you to discuss together. These tips apply to a casual date, just “hanging out” or serious relationships. Abstaining from sex is the safest choice for young people. But if a young person chooses to engage in sexual activity and has questions about preventing pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, please make an appointment with Family Health Services. Parents are welcome or young people may visit alone. Most importantly, be safe!

 

  1. Avoid use of alcohol and drugs so you have full memory of the personal or sexual encounter.
  2. Being turned down for sexual relations is not necessarily a rejection of you personally. A person who says “no” to sexual relations is expressing his or her unwillingness to participate in a specific act at a specific time.
  3. Accept a person’s decision. “No” means “no.” Don’t read in other meanings.
  4. Don’t assume that just because a person flirts or dresses in a manner you consider “sexy” that he or she wants to engage in sexual relations.
  5. Don’t assume that previous permission for sexual relations means a person is under a continuing obligation to have sex with you.
  6. Don’t assume your date wants the same degree of intimacy as you.
  7. Rape is a crime of violence. It is motivated by the desire to control and dominate, not by sexual desire.
  8. Don’t make statements that imply forced sexual demands.
  9. Don’t assume spending money on a date entitles you to sex.
  10. If you witness someone attempting to force sex on another person, it is your responsibility to try to stop it.
  11. If you compel a person to have sex against his or her will by force or threats, even if you know the person or have had sex with him or her before, you are committing a rape.
FOR HER

Dating safety and sexual assault can be a difficult topic to discuss. Statistics show that 1 in 3 young women and nearly 1 in 2 young men say they do not know the signs of sexual assault. We’ve developed these tips for you to discuss together. These tips apply to a casual date, just “hanging out” or serious relationships. Abstaining from sex is the safest choice for young people. But if a young person chooses to engage in sexual activity and has questions about preventing pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, please make an appointment with Family Health Services. Parents are welcome or young people may visit alone. Most importantly, be safe!

 

  1. Say “no” when you mean “no.” Communicate your limits clearly.
  2. Say “yes” only when you mean “yes.” Know what you are feeling and express yourself clearly.
  3. Be assertive. By saying nothing and not physically pushing back, your cues might be misinterpreted as permission. Be direct and firm with someone who is pressuring you sexually.
  4. If someone says something to offend you, respond promptly and firmly.
  5. Overly polite approaches might be misunderstood or ignored.
  6. Avoid use of alcohol and drugs which may decrease your inhibitions enabling you to agree to something you might not normally agree to. Also, the use of substances might cloud your memory.
  7. Pay attention to what is happening around you. Only attend parties with friends you can trust and agree to look out for one another. If you feel threatened, don’t be embarrassed to ask for help or to leave. Trust your intuition.
  8. If you feel you are being pressured into unwanted sexual relations, don’t hesitate to express your unwillingness, even if it might appear rude.
  9. Be cautious of or stop dating someone who displays extreme hostility anger, jealousy, or possessiveness or who pushes you around.
  10. Think ahead about getting home. Be prepared when you are away from home to be able to leave a situation if you need to. Coordinate plans with friends and arrange transportation.
  11. If a person tries to have sex with you without consent and will not stop, fight back. Physically push, hit or scratch if you must to get out of the dangerous situation—even if you know the person or have considered that person to be your friend.
THE FACTS!

 

  • 1 in 3 young women and nearly 1 in 2 young men say they do not know the signs of sexual assault.
  •  There are 207,754 victims of rape and sexual assault each year, with 525,600 minutes in a year, that makes one victim about every 2 minutes.
  • 32,000 women get pregnant from rape in the United States each year.
  • Less than half of all rapes are actually reported.
  • Campus rape rates haven’t changed in the last 20 years.